A Touch of Now - An Introduction

“I sit here desperately wanting to create something; to say something on these pages that will convey my thoughts, the beauty of this spot; to share my experience of this moment in time. My chest aches and tightens, as if to squeeze out the salty tears of longing. I look up from my shaded table cracked and weathered like the hull of an ancient ship, my back warmed in the afternoon sun, and thought is inadequate to the task.
Emerald green waves, speckled white with tips of foam, roll toward me from a forest curling like a finger out into the sea. Puffy white clouds emerge from beyond this jagged green horizon and float in lazy patterns against a pale blue sky. Leaves flutter in the warm breeze and dancing shadows dabble all around my wordless perch as seagulls, screeching nature’s plan, dive for unseen morsels and a jittery squirrel buries his face in the still moist grass.
The scene is there for everyone present. My experience lost within me and an inability to truly share the wonder may be my greatest pain.”

When exactly I wrote this is uncertain. Why, is an even greater mystery? What I am certain of however, is the truth embraced by the experience. It describes a moment in which I felt the touch of “now,” and in that touch the truth was unmistakable, simple, clear, and thoroughly unspeakable. I was present to that moment and the moment shared with me all there is to know. This Blog is about my journey, then and now, into the moment and the truth I find there.


January 8, 2010

The Journey called Life

     In the journey we call Life, all destination is a mirage that we create in our mind. Today I can see that my life is actually an undivided eternal process. The distinctions I make in marking time and distance are arbitrary, albeit culturally agreed upon, and therefore a valuable tool in our world of Form. However, there is no tomorrow; there is only and always – “Now” – this moment, this day.
    Recognizing that there is, in truth, no destination except one that I create in my imagination, allows me to see an important truth; that wherever I am at any moment is all there is, and ever will be, and at the same time eternally changing. Any destination in, or plan for, tomorrow is a product of my mind and can in fact, only arise in the present.
    “Now” seems to us to be constant. Instead it is a continual evolution. Therefore there is no need to grasp after anything within it, whether material or imaginary. In fact, this continual unfolding takes place with or without our permission. And if I’m hung up on some part of it, it is because I have become attached to something that will, by nature, proceed from an imaginary future to a memory, in the blink of an eye. And when I get hung up like this, I miss my life as-it-arises.
    Due to my experience with being mindful of the ever-changing “Now” in my daily affairs, I believe we are able to find more than just a fleeting connection to the liberation it offers. In fact it's now clear to me that the more I focus on some future destination, the more I get lost in a product of my imagination. And I typically then end up disappointed because I miss what I had imagined as the “desired outcome,” if and when it arrives. I must be vigilant in my journey, for my mind will continually drag me into all manner of future fantasies, and imprison me just outside the boundary of my real life.
    I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t make plans for a future. But we have to be willing to let go of any particular hope for the future, and remain in the “Now Moment” of our lives. We need to accept what arises in each moment as the substance of our life; whether it happens to coincide with what we planned or not. Simply being here in this moment, even after we have decided on some future goal, is being present to our life as-it-is. As someone once said, “life is what happens while we are busy making plans.” I’m not suggesting that all people will be able to acclimate themselves to such a perspective. Rather that it is possible for all people to do so, if they find the key to acquiring it.
    This is the journey of Zen. It has allowed me to find the truth as I understand it; that we suffer because we grasp after what isn’t “Now.” Accepting this moment as-it-is can be the beginning of one’s release from grasping. And the reason this journey is hopeful and not depressing, is that we come to see each moment as eternally evolving. And as a living entity, this personal journey is affected by my attitude toward it. . . . .to borrow from Suzuki, “Posture is everything.” It takes my willingness to participate in this process of nurturing a change in my “posture” toward all those things that seem to be the cause of my disappointments.
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