An Old Thought Resurrected

     While looking through some old flash-drives I ran across a folder containing this journaled moment in a meditation that seemed worthy of a late entry. The date is uncertain but I estimate it was made approximately 8 years ago when I moved to Southern Dharma and began journaling about many of my experiences. Dharma was my dog.

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      Yesterday I made the remark that Dharma had died so that I could  make this journey. And today, all of a sudden, I realized that this is exactly what Christians say about Christ. So I asked myself if I meant the same thing. Do I mean that Dharma knowingly, willingly, and with intent, caused or was instrumental, in getting a tumor so that I might move to the mountains?  No! Of course not; so what exactly do I mean by that?
     Well, I mean that her death made it easier for me to make this move; I couldn't take her with me, and my heart would not allow me to give her away. She was an active part of my life up to that time, and in fact, she was part of me. 
     Now what do I mean by that? In what way can a dog be a part of me? I guess I mean that because she was influential in my life, that she was a catalyst for me to change in numerous ways which helped me become the person I am today (however large or small a way that might be) - she has been an active influence in my life. In the same way that we might say that 'who we are is what we do' - or that 'what we think is who we are' -  then in a similar way, her effect on me makes her part of me. In some way we are the same; she is me. And, I suppose, I am her as well. (Though I’m still not totally clear on what that means right now, it feels accurate if not easily explained.) And I suppose the Christians can maintain in the same way, that if Jesus gave his life for them, then He is a part of them as well. I personally can not. But I can see, intellectually at least, how it might work for them.
  So, leaving all religious argument aside, it would seem that spiritually speaking, what I was meaning was that Dharma’s effect on my life makes her a part of my life; a part of me. This makes sense to me at some level beyond the merely intellectual. It seems to correspond with the idea that we are all connected in life - by life itself - even if we are talking about someone or some thing which is twice, x10, or a million times, removed. Regardless of time or distance, the idea is that everything is connected, and those people or things which are close enough in proximity to directly affect us, to make an impact on our existence, or to influence our lives in some way, are actually a large part of us through this impact.
     Now this does not make as much sense as it did when I was just thinking it, but it does bring me to the second thing I was thinking. If I look at a picture of Dharma, or Christ, or my parents, or anything that I see as being influential in me being where I am today, then I am honoring them, or it, by my being alive as I am today. And this is perhaps at least one meaning of, or reason for, an object on an alter. (Granted there are those who would find this overly simplistic and ridiculous, but it is one way of looking at it: one way it is meaningful to have something on an altar and talk to it or silently offer one’s gratitude.)
     Let me take this a step further. What about the cabbage I am preparing to eat? The breath of air I am about to take, or for that matter anything which I am about to make use of? Does this act not require, in the same way, a manner of gratitude to the cabbage or the air, for giving itself to us, to benefit us? I mean it seems to me that once again I can get caught in the word game and say that a cabbage can’t choose to give itself to me, or that it is just there for me to use (or if I really want to be Christian I can say that God put it there for me to use). Let’s forget this mind game where we give responsibility to God and, for a moment think about this as a new idea - a new meaning for "a sense of connection." The idea that perhaps the cabbage may be here for me but also, that I am here for the cabbage as well – this is interesting. 
     Perhaps the Buddhist idea of "skillful means" in this instant can refer to the fact that the cabbage, the air, or anything we put our proverbial hands on in this life are affected for good or ill by our actions. Now our decisions with regard to these issues, and our subsequent actions, are personal. Each of us must make our own decisions as to how we are to proceed in life. But it seems to me that the manner in which we grow our crops will affect the cabbage on our table, the decisions we make about our air will have a direct effect on our health and the health of future generations. What the cabbage can give to us depends upon what we give to it, and it is no less true that the air can only give us what we give to it. This is the interconnectedness to which I speak. Dharma gave me a gift - her life - that I might more easily move to where I am and to honor that gift I find myself incumbent upon giving her, in my life, the gift of passing on her teachings to others.

     We are one with all things and they with us. Therefore it makes sense to honor those things we use, or take from the natural world, as the Native Americans have done. It seems like a reasonable idea all of a sudden, to say “thank you” before we eat the food in front of us, or simply take a moment to be mindful of where it came from and how we are connected to it. Not to a God that gives, but to the process by which we are sustained in this life. Perhaps we are actually all here to be used by one another – plant, animal, and human alike – and all must act and accept, according to that imperative. When the unknown virus devours human life or a natural calamity swallows a whole city in the middle of the night, we will then be the food for life. Perhaps it is only through "skillful means’" and a practice of gratitude that we can find true peace amid this truth.

Alexander Pope and Blaise Pascal: A Comparison

"Know then thyself, presume not God to scan:
The proper study of mankind is man.
Plac’d upon this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise and rudely great.
With too much knowledge for the Sceptic’s side,
With too much weakness for the Stoic’s pride,
He hangs between; in doubt to act or rest,
In doubt to deem himself a God or beast;
In doubt his mind or body to prefer.
Born but to die and reasoning but to err’
Alike in ignorance, his reason such,
Whether he thinks too little or too much,
Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;
Still by himself abused or disabused.
Created half to rise and half to fall,
Great lord of all things yet prey to all.
Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurled,
The glory jest and riddle of the world." --  Alexander Pope                             

     The following is from the writings of Blasé Pascal who died in 1662. It is hard to imagine that Pope did not know what had been written by a Frenchman up to possibly 100 years before. And it is even more exciting to think that they came to these conclusions separately and yet voiced them in a manner suggesting conspiracy. These were taken from a book by Maurice Friedman titled The Worlds Of Existentialism: A Critical Reader. Italics is mine.

Blaise Pascal:
"Whoso takes this survey of himself will be terrified at the thought that he is upheld in the material being, given him by nature, between these two abysses of the infinite and nothing, he will tremble at the sight of these marvels…
For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in regard to the infinite, a whole in regard to nothing, a mean between nothing and the whole; infinitely removed from understanding either extreme. The end of things and their beginnings are invincibly hidden from him in impenetrable secrecy, he is equally incapable of seeing the nothing whence he was taken, and the infinite in which he is engulfed.
What shall he do then, but discern somewhat of the middle of things in an eternal despair of knowing either their beginning or their end…?
Let us know our limits: we are something, but we are not all. What existence we have conceals from us the knowledge of first principles which spring from the nothing, while the pettiness of that existence hides us from the sight of the infinite….
Restricted in every way, this middle state between two extremes is common to all our weaknesses.
Our senses can perceive no extreme. Too much noise deafens us, excess of light blinds us, to great distance or nearness equally interfere with our vision, prolixity or brevity equally obscure a discourse, too much truth overwhelms us…..
In a word, all extremes are for us as though they were not; and we are not, in regard to them: they escape us, or we them.
This is our true state; this is what renders us incapable both of certain knowledge and of absolute ignorance. We sail on a vast expanse, ever uncertain, ever drifting, hurried from one to the other goal. If we think to attach ourselves firmly to any point, it totters and fails us; if we follow, it eludes our grasp, and flees us, vanishing forever. Nothing stays for us. This is our natural condition, yet always the most contrary to our inclination; we burn with desire to find a steadfast place and an ultimate fixed basis whereon we may build a tower to reach the infinite. 
We may not then look for certainty or stability. Our reason is always deceived by changing shows, nothing can fix the finite between the two infinites, which at once enclose and fly from it…..
Were man to begin with the study of himself, he would see how incapable he is of proceeding further……
Man is to himself the most marvelous object in Nature, for he cannot conceive what matter is, still less what is mind, and less than all how a material body should be united to a mind. This is the crown of all his difficulties, yet it is his very being." 

The Misery of Man
"We care nothing for the present. We anticipate the future as too slow in coming, as if we could make it move faster: or we call back the past, to stop its rapid flight. So imprudent are we that we wander through the times in which we have no part, unthinking of that which alone is ours: so frivolous are we that we dream of the days which are not, and pass by without reflection those which alone exist. For the present generally gives us pain; we conceal it from our sight because it afflict us, and if it be pleasant we regret to see it vanish away. We endeavor to sustain the present by the future, and think of arranging things not in our power, for a time at which we have no certainty of arriving.
If we examine our thoughts, we shall find them always occupied with the past or the future. We scarcely think of the present, and if we do so, it is only that we may borrow light from it to direct the future. The present is never our end; the past and the present are our means, the future alone is our end. Thus we never live, but hope to live, and while we always lay ourselves out to be happy, it is inevitable that we can never be so."
Now this last part (Misery of Man) really sounds so much like the Zen I know that it is amazing. It seems to me to support the notion that there is a “truth” within man’s consciousness that ties us all together existentially and clearly speaks to the One-ness we have so much trouble getting our mind around.
I also find this next paragraph a particularly well put description of one aspect of the human condition. And we think we are so evolved…..like Pope said, we are, “the glory, jest, and riddle of the world.”

Of Self-love:

The nature of self-love and of this human “I” is to love self only, and consider self only. But what can it do? It cannot prevent the object it loves from being full of faults and miseries; man would fain be great and sees that he is little, would fain be happy, and sees that he is miserable, would fain be perfect, and sees that he is full of imperfections, would fain to be the object of love and esteem of men, and sees that his faults merit only their aversion and contempt. The embarrassment wherein he finds himself produces in him the most unjust and criminal passion imaginable, for he conceives a mortal hatred against that truth which blames him and convinces him of his faults. Desiring to annihilate it, yet unable to destroy it in its essence, he destroys it as much as he can in his own knowledge, and in that of others; that is to say, he devotes all his care to the concealment of his faults, both from others and from himself, and he can neither bear that others should show them to him, nor that they should see them.

Let's Begin Again

     It seems that being required to purchase a new computer has lured me back to my long deserted blog. I can't explain why exact but so be it! I will try again share my psychic space with all who are bored enough to follow along.
     While perusing previously highlighted portions of Alan Clements book, Instinct For Freedom, I ran across two quotes - one his and the other by Martin Luther King - that were some 20 pages apart but rang my eureka-bell. I have always had a difficult time finding a clear understanding of Dr. Kings statement but when I read both in closer proximity to one another....well let me try to explain.
      Clements wrote, "As the theory goes, freeing the mind of one's primordial ignorance is considered a great act of compassion."  A personal note in the margin said, "Think about why?" And immediately I remembered reading, some minutes earlier, the statement by Martin Luther King. "All persons are tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly....I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." 
     First let's think about the idea of primordial ignorance. I have come to recognize that our most basic ignorance, or simply - our failure - is to readily see that life is never alone. That is, all that we commonly refer to as life is not a group of individual, separate and unique, items that exist unconnected to one another. Life is a living tapestry - or as Dr. King wrote, a "single garment." And as a result the destiny of each, apparently separate, individual (or thread) in that tapestry is affected by every other thread. Each thread, each living organism in that cosmic tapestry is inexplicably connected to every other organism. We each happen to be but one such thread; a biologically dependent, myth-making mammal in a vast universe of living, interconnected, diversity. Each act by any thread in the garment (through what we know as cause and effect) impacts, directly and indirectly, each thread in the garment. And our primordial ignorance is the biochemical constitution that makes seeing this fact not only counter-intuitive but, confusing and very difficult to imagine and accept.
     It is for this reason that freeing the mind of this ignorance is to be considered a great act of compassion. It is an act that requires choice and a determined, intentional effort to pull back the shroud of our own ignorance in order to achieve the compassion that awaits our labor. And if we recognize that we are part of this enormous, living, interconnected process of life and death, and that what we can become is forever intertwined with others - and others with me - like the threads of a vast tapestry of all different colors, shapes, and sizes -- then and only then can I become all that I am able to be; that is the destiny of which he spoke. 
     And it is the very nature of this process that eludes us and imprisons us within the confines of our biological heritage. Our freedom however is not impossible to achieve. Just as many wise men and women have noted, the world is created by each of us within our minds. And the key is the freeing of our minds from the ignorance that plagues us all. It does, as always, begin with me. For I can't change others directly. I can only change myself directly but when I do, there is an indirect affect on all who I interact with, as stated by Dr. King  --"whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly."
     So, I am left with, once again another moment of clarity that will surely slip from my awareness once more, as I continue to struggle to see the mountain that is no longer a mountain and bring it back to my everyday vision of my world and the interrelated structure of reality.