What Time is it ....Now?

     Does time really go by as it seems? Does time actually pass or does it merely seem that way? Haven’t we all wished for more hours in a day at one time or another? What exactly is time anyway?
     One afternoon not long ago I found myself sitting quietly, enjoying the rarely visible winter sun as it filtered through the Venetian blinds casting shadows across my desk and floor. Specks of otherwise invisible particles of dust danced to the rhythm of my breathing and thoughts smiled at my good fortune. However, imperceptibly at first, something changed. Outside it was perhaps the air turning cool as clouds slowly dissolved afternoon shadows and the sun faded behind dark storm clouds rising from the horizon.
     Inside it happened in an instant and without warning. An acrid belch alerted the back of my throat to my regret, and I heard the silent yet familiar lamentation, “Time sure flies when I’m enjoying myself.” But what of this winged time I mused and instantly replied, “It neither flies nor otherwise moves - this phantom of my mind.” In fact, I was unable to anywhere find this elusive enemy of my pleasure.
     For something to exist for us it must stand out from its surroundings, background, or “other.” Imagine we are standing in the middle of a dense forest at midday with intense sunlight filtering through a canopy of branches and leaves, casting distinct, dancing shadows on the forest floor. The perceived change from light to dark is our brain “seeing” differences or changes within the visual field. Whether we speak of light, texture, taste, or sound - without change we do not recognize a differentiation. There would be no world - no one, no two, no “ten-thousand things”. Ask yourself where time would exist in such a world? Time is change or oneness, being dissected into the Taoist’s ten-thousand things as it passes through the filter of our senses And without this process there is no basis for the notion of time.
     “I” and Time do not exist outside our mind. They are the result of accumulated past experiences that are stamped with reality because they are seen again through memory function. The world in which we function, is the product of recall, memory, history. And without it, the self that seems to remember would not exist.
     Admittedly, it’s all a bit more complex than that, but simply stated, the “I” or self that we think is a concrete entity is actually just a function of human consciousness and is dependent upon memory. The whole process takes place without intent on our part – it is simply within the nature of human mental functioning, and is at the heart of the human condition.
     Today I realize, though less frequently than I’d like, that time is just not real. That is to say, without my mind, time does not exist. Instead, what exists in nature is simply change. When we identify, note, or categorize this change into discreet units, we create what we call the “passage of time”. This recognition of change is granted through the function of memory and without it we would have no more idea of time than that of a stone. Clearly, life is impermanent; it is change. Dissecting this ever moving flow of change, we arrive at the elusive moment that seems to pass too swiftly when it embodies pleasure, and can drag on endlessly when we are anxious or frightened.
     Time is our way of noting and immortalizing a moment out of eternal change, and is dependent upon the impermanence of all things. So without change, there is no time. The hands on a clock change position and we call this the movement of time. It is arbitrary, the product of human thought, and dependent upon the proper functioning of our senses. The rate of change can be the imperceptible swiftness within the molecular world, or the relative snails-pace of the galactic universe. The changing from day to night, season to season, or hour to hour are changes that our senses are able to register. But without change all things would cease to exist as they do for us as human beings. Our sensory apparatus rely on this change and regardless of speed, the action of impermanence –change - is existence as we know it…..and it is only now.